mostlyamazing

I neeeed to feel betterrrrrrr.

This is ridiculous. Christmas decorations are still up, still haven’t unpacked from my christmas trip, and i want to be able to run errands, cook, clean. Whatever this is that has a hold on me, must really like me a lot.  I’m hanging in there because I have to have hope I’ll get well (well for me, that is. not a normal healthy person).  Still have a fever, crap in my lungs, super weak, and not worth anything.

It makes my forearms burn to type this.

I go back to the doc on Thursday.

I’m beyond frustrated.  I’ve been in constant pain for two months (beyond my normal every day fibro pain), and the doctors have yet to find the cause. 

It started with bad breathing problems (pneumonia, bronchitis) and moved into a UTI, then kidney pain.  So here I still am.  I’ve been on 5 antibiotics and 3 steroids in the past couple months, and only my breathing has improved.  I’m exhausted.  Being in constant pain that causes you to be nauseated is exhausting in itself… but taking all of these meds (most of which weren’t necessary in the first place) just adds to it.

Turns out the cysts and possible kidney stone I had turned out to be NOTHING, yet I’m having the exact same pains as when they said that it’s probably what it is.  They now blame it on the fibromyalgia.  Of course.  It’s like when you’re pregnant, the doctors blame everything on the fact that you’re pregnant and don’t look for anything beyond that.

It’s hard for anyone to understand what a person in chronic pain deals with unless they’re going through it. 

I don’t know how many more negative test results I can handle.  At least if something is found, it’s a bit of a relief because people outside of yourself have hard proof that something is actually going on, and it helps me know I’m not losing my mind.  No such luck yet.